For widowers and empty nesters, the silence of a newly empty home can feel like a crushing weight. The same is true for Scott T. Sammis.
In Goodbye Mary Lou, Scott T. Sammis confronts this solitude on what he calls “Black Labor Day.” It was a pivotal moment of grief after losing his wife, Mary Lou, on Mount Kilimanjaro. His journey through loneliness, detailed in this memoir, offers solace and inspiration to those navigating similar voids.
Scott and his three children, Trevor, Becky, and John, clung to one another after Mary Lou passed away in January 2006, each of them dealing with their loss in a unique way. By August 2006, the inevitable had happened: the kids had grown up. Becky drove off to her new life with tears in her eyes, John remained in Santa Barbara for college, and Trevor went back to work in D.C. The squeak of the door’s hinge echoed Mary’s absence as Scott faced their Huntington home’s red front door by himself. “How could you do this to me?” he pleaded with her memory. “I can’t do this alone!”
Sitting on the back deck, Scott succumbed to despair. The bright September day darkened as sobs wracked him for what felt like weeks. His dog, Niko, watched sadly, mirroring his pain. This was Black Labor Day, the day Scott had dreaded for months. In the absence of Mary Lou, his house, which he once shared with the gentle recollection of Mary’s presence, has turned into an empty nest. This loneliness was a deep hole, and he dared it to consume him. He has lost his smile. In addition to losing his courage, he was rapidly experiencing a cascade of emotions that were isolating him.
Yet, a glimmer of hope emerged: “That was bad, but it didn’t kill me. I’m still here.”
Motivated by this perseverance, Scott took on the difficult task of organizing Mary’s clothing. Instead of letting his grief consume him, he found clarity by preserving her wedding gown and packing up things she never loved. He then faced a photo album of Mary’s life. Every picture, from early childhood to their wedding, evokes a nostalgic yet bittersweet moment. These acts of courage, guided by his love for Mary, marked the beginning of his healing.
Scott’s story resonates with empty nesters and widowers who fear solitude after loss. His raw honesty about grief’s depth and his small victories will provide hope to anyone who might be facing a loss. Be it sorting clothes, surviving tears, or recounting memories, his story offers a roadmap for facing loneliness. Plus, with the help of counselor Dee Margolis, Scott learned to integrate loss into his life, letting memories of Mary become love, not pain. His journey reminds us that loneliness, though daunting, can be a space for growth. And that when we allow ourselves to change, good things happen.
In the end, Goodbye Mary Lou is a beacon for those feeling alone after loss. Scott’s Black Labor Day shows that even in our darkest moments, we can find the strength to move forward. For widowers and empty nesters seeking inspiration, this memoir is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity to endure and heal. It is a wonderful story that gives us comfort and peace of mind to know that our loved ones are still with us even after they have passed away.
Pick up Goodbye Mary Lou today and find comfort in Scott’s story of transforming loneliness into a new beginning.
