Talking Through Tears: Helping Children Open Up About What’s Really Bothering Them

Every parent and caregiver has experienced it: a child crying in the early morning hours, clinging to a stuffed animal, saying they don’t feel well—only for a doctor to later confirm there’s no physical illness. The child isn’t “faking it.” They’re feeling it. Deeply. And often, those tears are the only language they have for big, confusing emotions.

In The Pain in My Belly by L. E. Perkins, young Noreen grapples with sadness, fear, and worry when her mother goes to the hospital for surgery. Her emotions don’t come out in clear sentences at first. Instead, they surface as a stomach ache, a silence at breakfast, and tears she tries to muffle with her bunny. Like so many children, Noreen doesn’t yet know how to say what she feels—so her body and tears speak for her.

This heartwarming and empathetic story shines a spotlight on a vital truth: Children often need help understanding and expressing their emotions. And they need adults who are patient enough to listen through the silence, the sniffles, and the sobs.

Why Children Struggle to Talk About Their Feelings

Developmentally, young children are still building the vocabulary and emotional awareness needed to express complex thoughts. A five- or six-year-old may not be able to articulate: “I’m afraid something bad will happen to Mommy, and I feel powerless.” Instead, they might say: “I don’t want to go to school” or “My tummy hurts.”

In Noreen’s case, her bravery is evident—but so is her internal struggle. She doesn’t want to burden anyone. She wants to be strong. But the feelings build up until they finally burst out at breakfast. That moment, where she sobs in Phyllis’s arms, is the turning point—not just in the story, but for every child who’s ever needed permission to cry.

How Adults Can Help Kids Talk Through the Tears

L. E. Perkins offers more than a touching story—she offers a gentle guide for caregivers who want to support emotional growth in children. Here are a few strategies drawn from The Pain in My Belly and child development best practices:

1. Be a Calm, Safe Presence

Phyllis doesn’t rush Noreen or demand answers. She offers quiet support, makes space for emotion, and listens. Children often open up when they feel safe and unjudged.

2. Use Reflective Listening

When Noreen cries about germs getting her mommy, Phyllis doesn’t dismiss it. She reflects: “That must have been so scary.” Naming a child’s fear without trying to “fix it” helps them feel heard.

3. Encourage Emotional Storytelling

Ask your child if they’ve had any “worry dreams” or if their tummy ache feels like a “knot or a wave.” Metaphors, stuffed animals, and storytelling can help children express what’s bothering them in ways that feel less scary.

4. Create Rituals of Reconnection

Noreen prays with her mom and finds comfort in bedtime routines and her stuffed bunny. Rituals help kids feel anchored during uncertain times. Whether it’s morning pancakes or a special goodbye phrase, these small things matter.

5. Normalize Feelings

Let children know it’s okay to cry. Feelings are not problems—they are signals. Saying things like “Even brave people cry” can be empowering.

A Story That Opens Hearts and Conversations

The Pain in My Belly isn’t just a children’s book—it’s an emotional toolkit wrapped in a gentle, loving story. It provides a relatable and safe way to talk about fear, separation, and anxiety. For parents, educators, and counselors, it opens the door to healing conversations. For children, it says, You’re not alone. Your feelings matter. And you can talk about them.

If you’ve ever wondered what’s behind your child’s tears—or how to help them find the words—this book is a beautiful place to begin.